Charles Barkley DUI Smacks of John Daly

UPDATE (5:55pm PST) - Barkley "admits/confides" to officers that he was en route to getting a blow job and handgun found in the vehicle - Smoking Gun official police report HERE

This just in (12:09pm PST) - Golfer John Daly suspended for 6 months today by PGA tour for among other things, alcohol-related incidents of late.

Let’s get the obvious jokes out of the way in all of their predictable splendor. It’s going to appear everywhere, so let Mo’Kelly do due diligence and “acknowledge” the jokes right off the top. "Yes, Charles Barkley should’ve called Dwyane Wade in his Fav 5 and had Dwyane drive him home instead."

Chuckle, chortle, sniggle, guffaw.

Never mind that Wade was in Miami after ruining LeBron James’ 24th birthday and couldn’t give him a ride anyway. That’s neither here nor there. Given the extensive T-Mobile commercial campaign featuring both, that’s how the joke will read.


Mo’Kelly’s just acknowledging the obvious and the fact that T-Mobile (and TNT for that matter) is/are none too pleased about ending up in The Mo’Kelly Report under such circumstances. Then again, TNT "knows drama." And let’s not forget the “other” obligatory joke, where Barkley didn’t get the memo about how drinking to excess was better suited for New Years Eve, not “New Years Eve Eve.”

Missed it by one day Chuck.

It’s not hard to find a celebrity spokesperson who can give you bad press and get arrested for a DUI. That’s rather easy. Companies usually are in need of the one who doesn’t get arrested…that’s the hard part.

You probably know by now that “Sir” Charles Barkley was arrested under suspicion of DUI this morning (12.31). Barkley declined a breathalyzer, failed the field sobriety test and the results of the blood test have not been made public yet. Nevertheless, it’s less than a stellar way to end 2008 for Barkley.

Those who consistently read The Mo’Kelly Report would likely assume this an opportunity to tee up Barkley. It would be a reasonable expectation.

Not this time though. But speaking of "teeing up"...

What troubles Mo’Kelly most is that Barkley is becoming more and more like professional golfer John Daly with each passing day. To be fair, Barkley has never been charged with third-degree assault for allegedly throwing his second wife into a wall. (He DID though throw a guy through a plate glass window at a bar, and oh yeah, broke a man's nose in a fight after a game in Milwaukee...for what they're worth.)

At the same time, Barkley does exhibit all of the classic signs of addiction and lack of self-control. From gambling, to weight excess to arguably, arguably...problems with alcohol, it’s all there.

Yes, “arguably” alcohol.

It’s very easy to point the finger and say Barkley has a problem with alcohol given the DUI arrest, yet most people disregard the reality of how easy it is to become over the limit in a legal sense. There but for the grace of God go you, I and thousands of others on a nightly basis who may not have happened to have been stopped on “this” or “that” occasion.

And no, Mo’Kelly does not have a DUI.

If Barkley’s BAC level is found to have been closer to .2 than .08, that would justifiably alter the previous paragraph. We shall see. Regardless, the DUI should not be viewed independently of everything else we know about Barkley; the problems with gambling, diet…or even the battle to “control” his on-air commentary.

For decades Barkley has been both lauded and chided for his public commentaries. In fact TNT is presently (or maybe I should say “was formerly”) running a campaign ironically highlighting this fact, with Charles on “trial” for his many controversial comments and incidents over the years.

For decades, Barkley’s indomitable “spirit” was both beloved and bemusing in nature. There “was” even talk of a Barkley Alabama gubernatorial bid. Ultimately, Barkley will receive an inordinate amount of criticism and comedic derision for this latest incident...and he will have rightfully earned all of it.

In the past Barkley has been very stand-up about publicly addressing his foibles. I anticipate nothing less in this instance. Mo’Kelly has always suspected that Barkley is more self-aware than people give him credit for being. If there is anyone acutely aware of Barkley’s shortcomings, it’s probably Charles. Historically, Charles has bypassed the denial stage of addiction, for better or for worse. One can argue both the positives and negatives of such a reality. What is most concerning is that Barkley’s greatest strengths are obviously his greatest flaws and it might only be a matter of time before Barkley truly becomes John Daly.

Maybe he already is...

The Mo'Kelly Report
is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse...as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly,

Morris W. O'Kelly can be reached at mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.

1 comment:

ZACK said...

You are knockin' us out with your jokes, Morris! All we need is a drummer and a microphone.

The Mo'Kelly Report Headline Animator